Comic #5798: sheila

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Description

Here’s a detailed transcription of the comic text in each panel:

Panel 1:

• Character on the left: "OH MY GOD! SHEILA!"
• Character on the right: "NO. NO, NOT SHEILA. BUT EVER SO CLOSE."

Panel 2:

• Character on the right: "I'VE CREATED A NEURAL NETWORK THAT SCANS ATTRACTIVE MEN'S PHOTOS, LOOKING FOR LONG-TERM GIRLFRIENDS WHO EITHER DUMPED THEM, AND WHO HAPPEN TO LOOK SIMILAR TO ME."

Panel 3:

• Character on the right: "THEN, I SWOOP IN ON THE MEN, WHO FIND ME DISORIENTING YET AROUSING. OH, YOU WON'T FIND ME INTERESTING OR CLEVER OR PARTICULARLY FUN TO BE AROUND, BUT SOMEWHERE DEEP IN YOUR BRAIN YOU'LL FEEL THAT I'M SHEILA."

Panel 4:

• Character on the left: "AND SO, THOUGH YOU ARE VERY FAR OUT OF MY LEAGUE SIR… YOU WILL BE MINE."

Panel 5:

• Character on the left: "YOU NEED A HOBBY."

Panel 6:

• Character on the right: "THIS IS MY HOBBY."

This captures the dialogue and conveys the comic's context.