Comic #5167: utilitarian
Description
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Person 1: I just don’t buy utilitarianism! You can’t reduce human morality to totting up the sum of happiness!
Person 2: Good!
Person 1: I mean, suppose utilitarianism is “true.” Like, imagine there’s a moral deity who, in his book of the universe, wrote down the laws of morality, and they’re simple utilitarian formulae.
Person 2: Well, that’d be kind of depressing, wouldn’t it? It’d mean we exist in a universe where it’s ethical to kill one person to save five. A universe where it’s good to be happy that an enemy of yours has died. A universe where it might be acceptable to kill Socrates if he’s immiserated Athens!
Person 1: Even in that universe, you’d much rather believe in a human-friendly virtue ethics that values truth and justice - the victory of the righteous over the wicked.
Person 2: What’s your point?
Person 1: Belief in utilitarianism will make you less happy!
Person 2: If utilitarianism is correct, the most utilitarian thing you can do is NOT believe in utilitarianism!
Person 1: Is that a paradox or just a proof that life is bad for humans?
Person 2: I like to think God has been laughing nonstop since the universe started.
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