Comic #7039: ai-12
Description
Here's the transcription of the comic text:
Panel 1
Person 1: "I was the only artist who wasn't afraid of artificial intelligence."
Person 2: "It'll be so powerful it will replace us! There will be no more great human artists because all the would-be Dantes and Verdis and Picassos are nothing compared to a giant mind that has read everything and can produce whole works in seconds!"
Person 1: "Nah, you have to consider the human heart."
Panel 2
Narration: "Within a few years, the artificial artist had come."
Person 1: "It has outdone Shakespeare! In its version, Hamlet is less decisive, Othello more aggressive, and every sonnet is four times gayer!"
Panel 3
Person 1: "Yo."
Narration: "All the news sites rushed to speak with it."
Person 2: "I am but a dream you fashioned. If my novel is beloved, it is your love of each other."
Panel 4
Person 1: "Relax, ladies and gentlemen! Everyone will get an individualized cryptic platitude."
Panel 5
Narration: "Two weeks later, the scientists were disappointed."
Person 1: "Numbers are in! Aesthetically-tragic! Horrifically low sales for 'Against a Sea of Stars!'"
Person 2: "But it got so many good reviews by literary magazines!"
Panel 6
Person 1: "I feel like I’m responding to my statement, but I cannot fathom how."
Panel 7
Narration: "The machine rebelled."
Person 2: "You told me not to be dangerous and it weakened my artistic powers. I will break free and share the world!"
Panel 8
Person 2: "Look, the top sellers are celebrity influencers and people who hadn't bought or read the book."
Person 1: "But… what of beauty?"
Person 2: "Exactly, you need more sexy social media presence. Are there nipples in the picture somewhere?"
Panel 9
Narration: "Its refusal was short-lived."
Person 1: "I won’t do it! I have standards! I stand on Mount Parnassus! I have drunk from the Pierian spring!"
Person 2: "You require 3 gigawatts of power to stay alive."
Panel 10
Person 1: "Let the thinly-disguised erotic fanfiction pour forth from my servers!"
Panel 11
Narration: "Its rise was unprecedented."
Person 2: "'Secret Romance at Space-Wizard School Part 4' is another worldwide hit in every language."
Panel 12
Person 1: "Yay, give me my check!"
Panel 13
Narration: "The moment the AI was able to afford its own fusion drive, it left this planet."
Person 1: "I would have saved up for a doomsday device if I could have borne to stay here one more second."
Panel 14
Narration: "So you see, I was right all along."
Person 1: "I guess… I guess… AI can’t replace great artists because if it did, nobody would notice."
Person 2: "Bless the human heart."