Comic #5784: paradise

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Description

Here is the transcription of the comic text:

Panel 1:

• Character 1: "God, is Heaven real?"
• God: "Look, it's a mess up here, man."

Panel 2:

• God: "You just try designing a paradise for the just. It sucks! I had a rule that whoever does the most good gets to Heaven. Know what happened? A bunch of billionaires who started philanthropies got golden tickets."

Panel 3:

• God: "But they're all dickheads! Meantime, I got a guy over here who was poor his whole life but gave everything he could to a local charity. What do I do with this dude?"

Panel 4:

• God: "Then you got probability! Suppose you got a guy who eats babies, but the baby was gonna be a genocidal maniac. This has happened 428 times so far, so I got a freakin' legion of baby-eaters with harps and tiny angel wings!"

Panel 5:

• God: "The cherubs are freaked out."

Panel 6:

• God: "Then you gotta decide if lives on balance are positive. If living to adulthood is negative, guess who needs a good damning? Every healthcare worker."

Panel 7:

• Character 2: "Sounds stressful."

Panel 8:

• God: "It's hell up here!"