Comic #5476: cynewulf

View Original Comic

Description

Here’s the transcription of the comic:

Panel 1:
"It's the movie of the decade. Based on ninth-century medieval tales by Cynewulf the poet."

Panel 2:
"Constantine, Emperor of Rome, is about to go into battle. Huns surround him on all sides."
"Suddenly, in the sky, Constantine has a vision of the true cross."

Panel 3:
"He carries the sign of the cross into battle, scattering his foes."
"His wise men tell him he must find the true cross. He sends an army, led by his mother Elene, to Jerusalem on a quest."

Panel 4:
"Wow! That’s an amazing setup! What happens next?"

Panel 5:
"Well, we'll wanna stick close to the medieval source literature, so acts 2, 3, and 4 are just torturing Jews until they pony up the cross."

Panel 6:
"How dare you! Where do you get the nerve, sir?"

Panel 7:
"What?"

Panel 8:
"You walk right into Hollywood and pitch a movie with an elderly female lead?!"

Panel 9:
"But—"

Panel 10:
"GET OUT!"

(The comic is from smbc-comics.com.)