Comic #4741: excelsior

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Description

Here's the transcription of the comic:

Panel 1:
Person 1: "HELP! I'M BEING STABBED!"
Person 2: "Good news!"
Person 3: "Who are you?"
Person 2: "Progress Man!"

Panel 2:
Narration: "Did you know that violent crime has dropped worldwide almost every year for decades?"
Narration: "Scenes like this are becoming increasingly uncommon."

Panel 3:
Person 2: "This is true despite the ever-decreasing cost of all the commodities that go into making stabbing implements!"

Panel 4:
Person 1: "My… wallet…"
Person 2: "Did you know that in 1850 it’d take 28 times more work to recoup the money you just lost?"

Panel 5:
Person 1: "gllrrshhhhll.gl…"
Person 3: "Whoops!"

Panel 6:
Narration: "And so…"
Person 4: "We will always remember Steve, thanks to ever less expensive solid state memory drives."

Panel 7:
(Depicts a group of people at a memorial service.)

This transcription captures all text elements in the comic. Let me know if you need anything else!