Comic #3827: machines-vs-jobs
Description
Sure! Here’s the text from the comic transcribed accurately:
Panel 1:
Ever more jobs went to machines.
Your job analyzing job losses to robots is now obsolete.
Dialog:
“How?”
“I’d explain, but you wouldn’t understand the math.”
Panel 2:
First, we lost jobs machines could easily.
Dialog:
“What if we had a steam-driven motor turn the millstone?”
“Then why even bother hiring poor people?”
Panel 3:
Then, we lost jobs computers could easily.
Dialog:
“The machine recognizes bad potato chips and ejects them from the conveyor.”
“But it’s my job.”
“It also ejects redundant employees!”
Panel 4:
Then, we lost jobs we thought computers would never do.
Dialog:
“Computer, I need a coming-of-age novel, but in the style of Fitzgerald that’ll convince me to find solace after the sudden death of my parents. Also, throw in a couple of man-man-lady threesomes and Harry Potter.”
Panel 5:
Soon, the only employers were people who had massive capital prior to the job-pocalypse.
Dialog:
“My God, Markov was right about everything, except timing, location, and specifics.”
Panel 6:
The only remaining jobs were those for which human employees were preferable.
Dialog:
“Tell me I’m a good boss but do not make eye contact.”
Panel 7:
Ever more specific niche programming became the only way to extract money from capital-holders.
Dialog:
“Here’s the news for Todd’s kitchen today: bit of a jam with a jam jar.”
Panel 8:
No one is happy, but once the military became robotic, revolution became impossible. So the exponential increase in specificity rolls on.
Dialog:
“Here’s the news for Todd’s head today: well, it was a hair-raising morning!”
Panel 9:
It’s not the most meaningful work, but it does have its moments.
Dialog:
“Here’s the news for Todd’s orifices today: bit of a jam with a jam jar.”
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