Comic #3176: 2014-01-27

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Description

Here is the transcription of the text in the comic:

Panel 1: Person 1: "WE HAVE TO BREAK UP." Person 2: "WHAT? WHY?"

Panel 2: Person 2: "BUT WE COULD BE IN THE FIVE PERCENT." Person 1: "UNLIKELY." Person 1: "MY QUANTUM COMPUTER DID A SCAN OF ALL POSSIBLE UNIVERSES WHERE WE STAY TOGETHER. ONLY FIVE PERCENT CONTAIN HAPPY LONGTERM RELATIONSHIPS."

Panel 3: Person 2: "BUT JUST BY MAKING YOUR CALCULATION, YOU’RE FURTHER REDUCING THE ODDS. DOES YOUR FIVE PERCENT FIGURE INCLUDE UNIVERSES THAT I SCANNED?" Person 1: "SORRY, YOU'RE IN ONE PERCENT OF UNIVERSES WHERE META-ANALYSIS WON'T CHANGE MY DECISION."

Panel 4: Person 1: "I'M GONNA FIND ME A GIRL WHO DOESN’T SUBSCRIBE TO MULTIVERSE THEORY!" Person 2: "FINE! HA! WHAT’S THE ODDS OF THAT?!"

Panel 5: Person 1: "DAMMIT."

Panel 6: Person 2: (typing) "type-a-type-a-type-a"

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