Comic #3169: 2014-01-20

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Description

Here is the transcription of the comic text:

Panel 1: We wanted to know if time travel occurs. "What if we send a time traveler party?"

Panel 2: It didn't work.

Panel 3: We realized the problem. "All of time there will be many parties. A time traveler would only go to the best party in history."

Panel 4: We tried to fundraise for the best party in history, but it didn't go well. "Excuse me, can you spare hours doughnuts?"

Panel 5: Then we had a great idea. "Hello foreign government! Would you be interested in time travelers? Can we offer them technology? Or, how about you give us money to host a party in your country?"

Panel 6: A bidding war ensued. “China is offering a stadium made entirely of panda. The U.S. is offering Brazil, Portugal, and a chair of them! Let’s each learn this class into a 10 can salute.”

Panel 7: We reached a compromise. "We have decided to drain the wealth of all native equity."

Panel 8: We held the greatest party the world could muster. Everything was mortgaged. "I’m thinking… I want that."

Panel 9: "Part don’t, part recently, a part? Who's gonna take from the true cross?"

Panel 10: No time travelers came. "Are you from the future?"

Panel 11: "Nope. I'm a vinyl corpse fetishist."

Panel 12: Their resources and machinery used up. The young economies (France), Anarchy came; starvation and violence founded.

Panel 13: Then a light appeared in the sky.

Panel 14: It turns out time travelers don’t like the kind of party we like. "Are you from the future?" "Yup! I’m here with all my friends to witness the 26 millionth of horrors."

Panel 15: "Time travel is possible." "WHAT? And ruin my party?"

Panel 16: "It just wasn't." "Everyone looks! They’re eating their own children!"

Panel 17: "Get pictures! Get pictures!"