Comic #2654: 2012-08-22
Description
Here’s a detailed description of the comic, including the text:
Title: Not provided.
Panel 1:
- Graph: A line graph labeled "STABILITY" on the vertical axis and "STRIFE" on the horizontal axis. The line shows a declining trend, indicating that as strife increases, stability decreases.
Panel 2:
- Text: "AN INDIVIDUAL RELATIONSHIP CAN ONLY SUSTAIN SO MUCH STRIFE BEFORE IT BECOMES UNSTABLE."
- Characters: A person in a mask (holding a bag) saying, "Hey, I'm gonna go kidnap and ransom a rich kid. There are only a few downsides?"
Panel 3:
- Text: "AND LONGTERM RELATIONSHIPS CORRELATE WITH LOWER CRIME RATES."
- Character: A second person reacting with surprise, "Wait, are you serious?!"
Panel 4:
- Text: "ECONOMISTS DISCOVERED THAT THE OVERALL RATE OF DIVORCE CORRELATES WITH OVERALL STRIFE."
- Character: A man with glasses and a suit responding, "Lowering nationwide strife will save 8% of costs lost to divorce, attorneys, and productivity!"
- Response: "So we should offer marriage counseling?"
Panel 5:
- Text: "YOU'RE CLEARLY NOT AN ECONOMIST."
- Character: A different character observing the discussion.
Panel 6:
- Text: "THE STRIFE CAP-AND-TRADE MARKET WORKED WELL."
- Graph: A graph showing "Total Strife" decreasing over "Time."
Panel 7:
- Text: "BUT AT THE INDIVIDUAL LEVEL, THERE IS SOMETIMES INSTABILITY."
- Character: A person named "Sammy" saying, "I want to call Bob a bastard and break his high school football trophy. Can I buy some strife credits?"
Panel 8:
- Character: Another character saying, "Of course! But first come in for my husband's fresh-baked cookies!"
Panel 9:
- Text: "THE KINDEST PEOPLE BECAME THE RICH AND POWERFUL. THE CRUELEST PEOPLE BECAME POOR."
- Character (a woman with a sign): "Will you blame ability theft for homelessness?"
Panel 10:
- Text: "BUT WITHOUT JERKS, THE ECONOMY FALTERED."
- Character: A woman saying, "Can I have 18 years off for paternity leave?"
- Response: "Not without a bonus, you can't!"
Panel 11:
- Text: "AND FOREIGN POLICY WAS LESS EFFECTIVE."
- Character: A person asking, "Can China have part of Florida? Just the tip. Just for a second, just to see what it feels like."
Panel 12:
- Text: "WELL… IF IT'S JUST THE TIP…"
- Character: Another character responding with hesitation.
Panel 13:
- Text: "STABILITY CONCERNS PRODUCED MASSIVE INFLATION."
- Character: A woman commanding, "I'll trade you 20 trillion strife credits for that shoe! Because I'm with the adoptive and biological fathers at the same time on his birthday, which is also Christmas."
Panel 14:
- Text: "WITH STRIFE EFFECTIVELY FREE, THE JERKS WERE BACK IN CHARGE WITHIN MONTHS."
- Character: A man introducing himself, "Hi everyone. I'm the new branch manager. Nice to meet you. First announcement - we're replacing 'maternity leave' with 'leave maternity…'."
Panel 15:
- Text: "THINGS GOT BACK TO NORMAL RAPIDLY. THE ONLY BAD CONSEQUENCE BEING THAT PEOPLE EXPECTED AN ENTIRELY NEW SORT OF PROMISE FROM LEADERS."
- Quote: "I promise unbridled contempt (for the common man). Ask not what your country can do for you, because I don't care. But fear itself."
This completes the transcription and description of the comic, providing insights into the dialogue and visuals.