Comic #2143: 2011-03-27

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Description

Here's the transcribed text from the comic:

Top Panel: A lot of people think nerds lack empathy.
Person 1: My dog died.
Person 2: My hands have five fingers. What's your point?

Second Panel: It's not that we're nonempathic. We're just goal-oriented.
Person 3: My wife left me.
Person 4: Solution: Absorb tears with sodium polyacrylate, obviate love by removing caudal nucleus from brain.
Person 3: I think I'll try dating.
Person 4: How inefficient.

Third Panel: It's usually good to be straightforward when you approach problems.
Person 5: My fridge is croaking.
Person 6: Compressor.
Person 5: My wife is choking.
Person 6: Compress 'er.

Fourth Panel: But it doesn't prepare you to deal with other people.
Person 7: Stop your technical crap! Do you love me or not?!
Person 8: I don’t believe in Boolean relationships.

Fifth Panel: …or with yourself.
Person 9: Oh my god. For most of eternity, I won't exist. That leaves two options: live forever or destroy the universe.
Person 10: Hmm…
Person 9 (thinking): I may have to quit my day job for this.

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