Comic #6983: morality-2

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Here’s a detailed transcription of the comic:

One Day, Morality was Solved.

The goal of all ethics is to reduce suffering. The moral standing for all life forms must be established concerning their capacity for suffering. Let us begin the great work of blossoming kindness throughout the biosphere.

Immediately, an engineer ruined everything.

I’ve rewired my brain to produce constant agony unless I get exactly what I want immediately! I’m experiencing a majority of all suffering on Earth! Pacify me!

Resources were mobilized.

But, Cybo-Steve, why don’t we just switch off your pain-helmet?

Okaaaaay! Another shipment of gold!

AAAAAAAH! It hurts to even imagine that!

Others attempted to follow Cybo-Steve’s strategy.

I too am in constant agony!

I’ve doubled my capacity for suffering! So I am twice worthy!

I’ve rigged up my whole city to be one giant circuit of torment! I’m undermining ethics!

But Cybo-Steve’s command of resources allowed him to stay a step ahead.

I have pain reserves the size of mountains! My sorrows are as the oceans! My limbic system spans the skies and is having a very bad morning!

Boo hoo!

Eventually all resources on Earth were mobilized to increase Cybo-Steve’s pain. Then all the solar system, the galaxy, the universe.

Steve is pain. Reality is Steve. Reality is pain!

Having spanned the cosmos, the only outlet to produce more suffering was to use his god-like powers to create entirely new universes.

There will be no justice, no permanence, only decay! AHAHAHAHAHA!

But then, you already knew that.

So we’re made in God’s image.

Neat, right?

This transcription captures the spoken and thought elements within the comic's panels.