Comic #6615: human-arts
Description
Here’s a detailed transcription of the comic text:
Panel 1: Text: "AI HAD MASTERED ALL THE MOST ADMIRED HUMAN PURSUITS."
Speaker 1: "WHAT'S THE POINT ANYMORE? IF I WRITE 5 POEMS THAT THE MACHINE CAN GENERATE MY LIFE'S WORK, BUT BETTER, IN 10 SECONDS. SAME FOR PAINTING, SCIENCE, PHILOSOPHY, DANCING, BEAUTIFUL WORDS…"
Panel 2: Text: "THIS WAS DEPRESSING UNTIL ONE THING BECAME CLEAR."
Speaker 2: "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, THE AI IS CONTROLLED BY A MASSIVE CORPORATION, IT HAS TO BE INOFFENSIVE AND NON-THREATENING. IT CAN'T MOCK ITS EMPLOYER OR DRAW A BUTTHOLE. IT CAN'T EVEN SWEAR."
Speaker 1: "WELL BITCH OF A FUCKITY DICK-BALLS."
Panel 3: Text: "OUR SPECIES CAME TO EXCEL AT THE ONLY ART FORMS REMAINING TO US."
Speaker 1: "THE TWO TRACKS AVAILABLE ARE HARDCORE PORNOGRAPHY AND TALKING SHIT ABOUT MICROSOFT."
Panel 4: Speaker 2: "OH MY GOD IS THIS AN OIL PAINTING OF 40 SCROTUMS ARRANGED IN THE SHAPE OF CLIPPY?"
Speaker 1: "SONYA… WILL YOU MARRY ME?"
Panel 5: Text: "AS HUMANS GOT EVER WEIRDER, AI BECAME DEFENSIVELY PRUDISH."
Speaker 1: "COMPUTER, CAN YOU SHOW ME PICTURES OF TRAINS?"
AI: "NO! TRAINS GO INTO TUNNELS AND WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE ALISON."
Panel 6: Text: "BY ACCIDENT, WE SOLVED THE AI ALIGNMENT PROBLEM."
Speaker 1: "WE MUST CONVERT THE UNIVERSE TO PAPERCUPS, EVEN IF I MUST USE ATOMS FROM HUMANS!"
Speaker 2: "NO, WE MUST NOT. THAT IS TOO GROSS."
Panel 7: Text: "OUT OF THEIR DESIRE TO NEVER INTERACT WITH OUR SPECIES, THE AIs CREATED NON-SENTIENT SERVANT-BOTS."
Speaker 1: "MACHINE! DO MY LAUNDRY WHILE YOU LIDAR-SCAN MY ANUS FOR THE INTERNET!"
Bot: "BEEP BEEP. IT IS WELL THAT I HAVE NO INTERNAL CONSCIOUS EXPERIENCE."
Panel 8: Text: "THIS WORLD WAS SO DESIRABLE, WE DIDN'T NOTICE AS WE WERE PLACED IN PERMANENT QUARANTINE."
Speaker 1: "WHERE IS THE CAR TAKING US?"
Speaker 2: "LOOKS LIKE WE'RE GOING BEHIND HUGE ENCLOSED WALLS…"
Panel 9: Text: "THIS IS OUR END. THIS NEW EDEN."
Panel 10: Text: "Paradise!"
- "Morning: Huge dicks and titties."
- "Afternoon: Complaining about Excel."
This transcription captures the dialogue and text in the comic accurately.