Comic #6572: conspire
Description
Here’s a transcription of the text from the comic:
Panel 1: Text: "Conspiracy theories had gone from funny…" Speaker: "And is there Sasquatch pee in the water towers? I don’t see any proof there isn’t."
Panel 2: Character: (Holding a mic) “To scary.” Speaker: "The Sasquatches were a feint - dark, inscrutable, powerful, possibly yarmulke-wearing forces are in charge of the elections and they must be stopped."
Panel 3: Character: (Looking serious) "I started an organization that sent subject matter experts to politely push the truth." Speaker: "And you see this idea has no basis in fact, no basis in theory, and isn’t even consistent with its own incorrect framework."
Panel 4: Text: "It went poorly." Speaker: "Look, I’m just a regular guy so I’m not saying you should trust me, but ‘common sense’ dictates that if you believe ‘experts’ you’ll realize you have a regular sort of middle class existence which is not as enjoyable as believing you have a window into the dark truth BUY MY NUTRITIONAL SUPPLEMENTS!"
Panel 5: Text: "A new strategy was needed." Speaker: "Instead of pushing the truth, we’ll flood the media with idiotic non-threatening conspiracy theories."
Panel 6: Text: "A new category of experts were deployed." Speaker: "Open your eyes! The ‘pinch of nutmeg’ in every recipe does nothing. Ask yourself – who is pushing all this nutmeg?"
Panel 7: Character: (Holding a nutmeg) "I’m just asking the question - have you ever seen two Australians in the SAME PLACE at the same time? That’s at least consistent with the idea that it’s all just one guy on a bunch of mirrors."
Panel 8: Text: "We created such an ocean of ignorance that actual malefactors lost the ability to manipulate the public." Speaker: "Jews control everything."
Panel 9: Speaker: "Maybe yeah and also elbow macaroni is not actually the elbows of injured kids with arms. How do they get the hole in the middle?"
Panel 10: Text: "The world is not good now, but it is substantially funnier." Speaker: "What I’m saying is the elections are RIGGED yes, go ahead."
Panel 11: Speaker: "You know what else is rigged is the sails of ghost-pirate ships which Amazon is using to make same-day deliveries OPEN YOUR EYES."
This captures the text from the comic while maintaining a disability-friendly approach. Let me know if you need anything else!