Comic #6491: gar

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Description

Comic Title: SMBC Comic

Panel 1: Visual: Two figures in front of a large, golden gate.

• Text: “WELCOME! LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE GOING TO… ONE SEC… AH.”

Panel 2: Visual: A man looking shocked.

• Text:
  • "HELL."
  • "WHAT?! I OBEYED ALL THE RULES! I KEPT THE SABBATH, NEVER KILLED ANYONE, NEVER PERFORMED ANY EROTIC ACTIVITIES VIS-À-VIS THE ANUS!"

Panel 3: Visual: A second man shows disbelief.

• Text:
  • "I WANTED TO STUFF BUTTS AND BE STUFFED IN TURN, BUT I DIDN'T BECAUSE I WANTED TO BASK IN THE ETERNAL LIGHT OF THE LORD!"

Panel 4: Visual: The second man explaining.

• Text:
  • "THAT'S THE OLD RULE-BASED SYSTEM. IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH BUT WE'VE DONE MUCH BETTER RECRUITING SINCE WE SWITCHED TO A SABERMETRICS APPROACH."

Panel 5: Visual: A third figure giving an analysis.

• Text:
  • "YOU'RE GOOD ON THE USUAL CRITERIA, BUT WHEN WE COMPARE YOU TO A STANDARD REFERENCE AND PLOT THE REST OF HISTORY IT TURNS OUT WE'D BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU. YOUR 'GOODNESS ABOVE REPLACEMENT' SCORE IS NEGATIVE."

Panel 6: Visual: The first man looking confused.

• Text:
  • "WAIT, GOD IS AN APPLIED MATHEMATICIAN?"

Panel 7: Visual: The second man nodding in agreement.

• Text:
  • "YES, THAT'S WHY THE UNIVERSE WORKS BUT THE DETAILS DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE."