Comic #6019: criteria

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Description

Here's a detailed transcription of the comic's text:

Panel 1

• Person 1: "SALLY, WE NEED TO TALK."
• Person 2: "OH GOD, ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME?"

Panel 2

• Person 1: "NO! I'M NOT. I DON'T LIKE REJECTING PEOPLE, SO I BUILT A SET OF OBJECTIVE CRITERIA FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP STATE. AN ALGORITHM ASSESSES THEM AND OUTPUTS 'BREAKUP' IF A COMPOSITE VALUE EVER FALLS BELOW 0.3."
• Person 2: "AND MY LOVE… I'M AFRAID WE'VE REACHED… 0.284."

Panel 3

• Person 2: "LEMME SEE YOUR DOCUMENTATION!"

Panel 4

• Person 1: "ALL OF THESE 'OBJECTIVE CRITERIA' ARE JUST YOUR OPINIONS ON THINGS I DO!"

Panel 5

• Person 1: "THEY'RE IN EXCEL, SALLY. WHAT PRECISELY DO YOU IMAGINE 'OBJECTIVE' MEANS?"

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