Comic #5859: jiggler

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Description

Here’s a detailed description of the comic:

Panel 1:
Text: "STUDIES SHOW THAT 94% OF COMPUTER PROBLEMS CAN BE SOLVED BY JIGGLING THE CABLES."
Image: A woman with glasses, wearing a black jacket over a yellow top, stands at a podium, speaking.

Panel 2:
Text: "AND YET WE ALLOW COMPUTER PROBLEMS TO OCCUR PERPETUALLY; EACH OF THEM COSTS VALUABLE TIME, OFTEN OF HIGHLY SKILLED USERS."
Image: The woman continues to speak, with a concerned look.

Panel 3:
Text: "IF WE ASSUME ONE PROBLEM PER COMPUTER PER DAY, AN AVERAGE TIME-LOSS EQUIVALENT OF TEN DOLLARS, THEN ON THE WORLD'S BILLION COMPUTERS, WE FIND THE COST OF JIGGLING TO BE ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF THE ENTIRE ECONOMY OF SPAIN!"
Image: The woman gestures to her side as a chart appears on a screen.

Panel 4:
Text: "THE CONCLUSION IS SIMPLE: WE TAKE HALF OF THAT MONEY AND USE IT TO CREATE A MASSIVE PILEDRIVER, WHICH JIGGLES THE ENTIRE PLANET EVERY HOUR OF EVERY DAY FOREVER."
Image: The woman points to a diagram featuring a large pile driver with arrows indicating motion.

Panel 5:
Text: "THE RESULT? MASSIVE SAVINGS, HAPPIER LIVES, GENTLY-ROCKED BABIES SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT, AND A GENERAL REDUCTION IN HUMAN VANITY DUE TO THE ENTIRE SPECIES-WIDE FLESH-WOBBLING."
Image: The woman smiles confidently as she concludes her point.

Panel 6:
Text: "QUESTION - WON'T THIS LAY WASTE TO EVERY STRUCTURE EVER BUILT BY THE HAND OF MAN?"
Image: A man in the audience raises his hand, looking concerned.

Panel 7:
Text: "NOT THE JIGGLER!"
Image: The woman responds emphatically, and the audience looks surprised or curious.

The panels feature a mix of illustrations and text, combining humor and commentary about technology and its quirks.