Comic #5659: the-end-of-history
Description
Here’s a detailed description of the comic, including the text contained within it:
Panel 1:
- Setting: A group of people gathered in a meeting.
- Text: "FOR TOO LONG, OLD LEADERS HAVE SENT YOUNG PEOPLE TO FIGHT FOR CAUSES THEY DON'T VALUE!"
Panel 2:
- Speaker: A person resembling a leader.
- Text: "LAWS TO STOP WAR WERE ALWAYS SO COMPLICATED THAT LOOPHOLES WERE PERPETUATED."
Panel 3:
- Speaker: Another character.
- Text: "THE BOMB-DROPPING WAS NOT TECHNICALLY 'HOSTILITIES.' IN THAT MANY OF THE FACILITIES WERE NOT PEOPLE WE FELT HOSTILE TOWARD."
Panel 4:
- Speaker: A woman with a determined expression.
- Text: "SO, WE CAME UP WITH A SIMPLE PLAN."
Panel 5:
- Settings: A humorous brainstorming session.
- Text Bubble: "FROM NOW ON, ALL CONFLICTS WILL BE SETTLED IN UNANIMOUS SINGLE COMBAT BETWEEN TWO TOP-RANKING LEADERS."
Panel 6:
- Speaker: Another character bouncing ideas.
- Text: "WE IDENTIFIED A RHETORICAL MEANS BY WHICH TO BRING THE PRESIDENT TO OUR POSITION."
Panel 7:
- Characters: A character making chicken noises.
- Text: "CHICKEN-CHICKEN-CHICKEN-CHICKEN…"
Panel 8:
- Comment: A character shares a humorous sentiment.
- Text: "YOU KNOW, NOT THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE AFGHANISTAN IS."
Panel 9:
- Character: Someone sharing excitement.
- Text: "JUST BEING REAL HERE. THIS WHOLE TIME, I THOUGHT I WAS A PERSON MAN."
Panel 10:
- Speaker: A character discussing dinner plans.
- Text: "LET'S ALL GO GET DINNER TOGETHER!"
Panel 11:
- Comment: Characters reflect on a new political figure.
- Text: "THEN CAME THE NEW PRIME MINISTER OF CANADA."
Panel 12:
- Character: A new leader expresses appreciation.
- Text: "THANK YOU IN LIEU OF THE INAGURATION SPEECH! I WILL BE PUTTING MY PECS IN TIME WITH BEGATHEMISSION'S FIFTH SYMPHONY."
Panel 13:
- Expression: Characters show shock.
- Sound Effect: "BUM-BUM-BUMMMM…"
Panel 14:
- Setting: Transitioning to the result of the new leadership.
- Text: "THE CONQUEST WAS SWIFT."
Panel 15:
- Character: Maps out a new idea.
- Text: "BUM BUM BUM BUMMMM."
Panel 16:
- Commentary: Discussing the implications of the new leadership.
- Text: "A NEW SORT OF LEADER WAS CALLED FOR."
Panel 17:
- Speaker: A character addressing a crowd.
- Text: "IT'S A GOOD THING CANADA WAS UNSTABLE, MENTALLY, BECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA FEEL THIS SUCKLE FROM HERE TO THE YUKON!"
Panel 18:
- Character: Enthusiastic declaration.
- Text: "ENTIRE ECONOMIES ORIENTED AROUND FINDING SUPERMEN AND MEAN-BOOSTING THEM WITH ANDROGENS."
Panel 19:
- Character: Announcing proudly.
- Text: "I AM THE PRIME MINISTER OF PORTAGE…AND PAH-RAAAAAAAN!"
Panel 20:
- Observation: Reflects on the impact of war.
- Text: "WORLD WAR III WAS THE MOST EUGENIC WAR IN RECENT MEMORY."
Panel 21:
- Setting: A wrestling match between leaders.
- Text: "ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT WAS ACHIEVED VIA AN INVERTED DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB."
Panel 22:
- Sound Effect: Reflecting on the situation.
- Text: "BUM-BUM-BUM BUMMMM."
Panel 23:
- Character: Contemplating governance.
- Text: "IT'S NOT A PERFECT WAY TO RUN THE PLANET, BUT THE STABILITY IS JUST INCREDIBLE."
Panel 24:
- Commentary: Casual remark on workout.
- Text: "I'VE BEEN THINKING WEIGHTED SQUATS, BRO. IT'S THE ONLY WAY."
Panel 25:
- Character's response: Laughing with a buddy.
- Text: "EACH, NEVER MIND."
This captures the dialogue and actions depicted in the comic, presenting a summarized visual narrative for accessibility.