Comic #5527: religions

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Description

Here’s the text from the comic transcribed accurately:

Theism: GOD EXISTS.
YOU WANT MIRACLES?
I GOT MIRACLES!

Atheism: GOD DOES NOT EXIST.
OH HELL, IT'S JUST US OUT HERE?
SODOMY IS WAY ON THE TABLE AGAIN.

Deism: GOD EXISTS, BUT HE ONLY SET THE UNIVERSE RUNNING AND NO LONGER INTERFERES AS HIS PERFECT PLAN UNFOLDS.

Text in a speech bubble:
IF IT AIN'T BROKE, DON'T JESUS IT.

Amicable Theism: GOD EXISTS AND MAYBE WOULD EVEN LIKE TO INTERFERE ONCE IN A WHILE, BUT HONESTLY JUST ISN'T FEELING THE CONNECTION ANYMORE.

Text in a speech bubble:
LOOK, IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME.