Comic #5435: romance

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Here is the transcription of the comic:

-19TH CENTURY ROMANCE NOVELS-

Panel 1: "OH HOLY LIVING BALLS, LOOK AT THAT HUNK OF MAN."

Panel 2: "WELL-OFF. MIDDLE-AGED. CHRISTIAN. WIDOWER." "GRUFF AND QUIET, BUT SECRETLY WEEPS ON THE ANNIVERSARY OF HIS TRUE LOVE'S DEATH."

Panel 3: "HOUSE SHOCKINGLY UNTIDY DESPITE MANY SERVANTS."

Panel 4: "TWO YOUNG BOYS WITH INTELLECTUAL AND ATHLETIC PROMISE, BUT IN NEED OF MATERNAL CARE." "I'M GONNA TAP THAT BUSINESS SO HARD."

Panel 5: "SEVERAL YEARS OF PLANNING LATER…" "GOOD DAY MADAME, MIGHT I INTRODUCE MYSELF TO—"

Panel 6: "FIE ON THEE, SIR! FIE! I AM BUT A COUNTRY MAIDEN!"

Panel 7: "SWEET CHRIST YES."