Comic #4989: protagonist

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Panel 1:
"I've been way less depressed since I decided to pretend I'm the protagonist in a movie."

Panel 2:
"It makes all of my experiences so much more dramatic. And it makes me a much better person."

Panel 3:
"Like, normally on our anniversary I’d just get some flowers and we’d get dinner and so on."

Panel 4:
"But, since I now imagine millions of judgmental people watching, I plan ahead and take you to photogenic natural vistas, to watch the sunset and gently stroke your hair."

Panel 5:
"I thought you liked that stuff."

Panel 6:
"No. No, no, no. Hiking sucks and your hair is full of tangles."

Panel 7:
"So, none of this is real."

Panel 8:
"Of course not! But, I’m gonna do it for the rest of our lives, growing ever more loving under this imaginary supervision, until I totally nail my death scene at the end."

Panel 9:
"Is it really a lie if you never stop telling it?"

Panel 10:
"Yes."

Panel 11:
"Well, anyway, what's not to enjoy?"

Panel 12:
"The thing where you look away and give a thumbs up whenever we have sex is pretty annoying."

Panel 13:
"No system is perfect."

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