Comic #4887: fortune

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Description

Here is the transcription of the comic:

Panel 1:

• Text: "WELCOME TO MADAME ROBELDA’S. I AM YOUR SIGNAL TELLER."
• Character: "I THOUGHT THIS WAS A FORTUNE TELLER."

Panel 2:

• Character: "NO, THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE. I TELL YOU THE UNDERLYING MOTIVATIONS FOR YOUR BEHAVIORS."

Panel 3:

• Character: "WHERE WILL I WORK?"
• Character: "AT THE LEAST RISKY JOB THAT GETS YOU INTO THE LOCAL MIDDLE CLASS."

Panel 4:

• Character: "WHO WILL I FALL IN LOVE WITH?"
• Character: "THE HIGHEST STATUS WOMAN YOU HAVE A BETTER THAN 50% CHANCE OF MARRYING."

Panel 5:

• Character: "WHY AM I HERE?"
• Character: "BECAUSE TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT YOUR AMUSING TIME AT THE FORTUNE TELLER WILL MAKE YOU SEEM PLAYFUL TO SKEPTICS AND ENIGMATIC TO BELIEVERS."

Panel 6:

• Character: "DO I DO ANYTHING THAT ISN'T FUNDAMENTALLY ABOUT STATUS-SEEKING?"
• Character: "POOPING."

Panel 7:

• Character: "UNLESS YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE POOP-OBSESSED NUTRITION GUYS AND YOU BLOG ABOUT IT."
• Character: (surprised)

Panel 8:

• Character: "DAMN."

Text at the bottom:

• "Low Density Excreta 4LIFE.com"
• Source: smbc-comics.com