Comic #4799: astrobiology

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Here's the transcription of the comic text:

Panel 1: " LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I CAN FINALLY MAKE THE ANNOUNCEMENT ASTROBIOLOGISTS HAVE LONG HOPED FOR: WE HAVE RECOVERED A LIFE-CONTAINING OBJECT FROM SPACE."

Panel 2: "THIS WAS ACCOMPLISHED BY RECOGNIZING (A) THAT SPACE IS TECHNICALLY ONLY 100 KILOMETERS HIGH, (B) THAT METEORITES ARE TECHNICALLY JUST ROCKS FROM SPACE, (C) THAT IT'S POSSIBLE TO BRING ROCKS FROM EARTH TO TECHNICAL SPACE VIA A WEATHER BALLOON AND SMALL ROCKET, AND (D) THAT NONE OF YOU WOULD READ BEYOND THE ABSTRACT."

Panel 3: "THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT SEVERAL LARGE UNIVERSITIES AND CORPORATIONS DIDN'T READ THE METHODS SECTION EITHER AND HAVE ALREADY SPONSORED THIS EVENT."

Panel 4: "THUS, OUR SECOND PAPER: THE MOST EFFICIENT METHOD OF EXTRACTING FREE PIZZA AND COOKIES FROM HARVARD UNIVERSITY."

Panel 5: "THANK YOU, THANK YOU."

Audible clapping fills the background.