Comic #4797: coffee

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Description

Here is the transcription of the comic:

Panel 1:

• Person with coffee: "I am TOTALLY ADDICTED to coffee!"
• Other person: "NO YOU AREN'T."

Panel 2:

• Other person: "Coffee is only mildly habit-forming. It wouldn't produce the effect you're experiencing right now."

Panel 3:

• Coffee drinker: "The truth is I've been replacing your morning coffee with a mixture of nicotine, oxycodone, midazolam, cocaine, and yes, a generous shot of espresso."

Panel 4:

• Other person: "You're so addicted, you haven't noticed that your cup is filled with a gritty gray chemical slurry."

Panel 5:

• Coffee drinker: "Well, I'll be damned."

Panel 6:

• Other person: "Why do it, you ask? Because I'm tired of your little witticisms about how 'I can't function without coffee' and how you're 'just not human till you have your coffee.'"

Panel 7:

• Other person: "Cheryl, it is SO cliché."

Panel 8:

• Other person: "And now? Now, you INHABIT the cliché! You literally cannot function without your 'coffee.'"

Panel 9:

• Coffee drinker: "I won't drink it! I won't! I…"

Panel 10:

• Coffee drinker (panicking): "SPIDERS ARE EVERYWHERE! EVERYWHERE UNTIL I'VE HAD MY MORNING COFFEE!"

Panel 11:

• Other person: "See, that's WAY more original!"