Comic #4759: moneybattle

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Description

Here’s a detailed description of the comic along with the transcription of the text:

Comic Description:

The comic features a group of medieval warriors in a briefing setting, discussing combat strategy. The characters are dressed in armor and varying medieval clothing styles. One character, a woman with red hair and glasses, appears to be leading the briefing, conveying a very serious tone about the upcoming combat strategies. Various warriors listen intently, including one character with long hair and a confident demeanor.

Transcription of Text:

Panel 1:

• Woman with red hair: "FROM NOW ON, WE ARE TAKING A STATISTICAL APPROACH TO COMBAT."

Panel 2:

• Woman with red hair continues: "FIRST, DON'T GO FOR KILLS. GO FOR STABS. Successful stabs are MUCH more valuable to victory than lethal strikes."
• (In the background, a warrior with long hair looks skeptical.)

Panel 3:

• Woman with red hair continues: "SEE SIEGWURST OVER HERE? Everyone thinks he's our most valuable warrior because he killed three Frenchmen in each of the last ten battles."

Panel 4:

• Woman with red hair: "Now look at Birk over here. He averages 22.1 stabs per battle."
• (A tall, muscular man with blonde hair stands with a sword.)

Panel 5:

• Woman with red hair: "He alone accounts for an additional 3.8 wins per campaign season. Siegwurst brings in 1.6."

Panel 6:

• Woman with red hair: "But remember when Siegwurst slew two Cossacks with his 'Dance of the Whirling Blades'?"

Panel 7:

• Woman with red hair: "NO MORE READING THE SAGAS, OKAY? NO SPIN MOVES OF ANY KIND! THEY'RE VERY IMPRESSIVE, BUT THE EXPECTED ADDITIONAL WINS PER SPIN MOVE IS NEGATIVE. NEGATIVE."
• (A worried-looking warrior in the back raises his hand.)

Panel 8:

• Woman with red hair: "IN THIS ARMY, WE CARE ABOUT ONE THING, AND THAT IS STAB PERCENTAGE."

Panel 9:

• Woman with red hair: "THIS IS GONNA HAVE SERIOUS NEGATIVE EFFECTS ON MORALE."

Panel 10:

• Woman with red hair: "WHICH CORRELATES WITH EXACTLY NOTHING. NOW GET STABBY!"

This summary captures the humor and context of the illustration while providing accessible descriptions for readers.