Comic #4436: science-abridged

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Description

Here’s the transcription of the comic:

Panel 1: Text: "HEY, GEEKS! THE FOLLOWING IS AN AD FOR A NEW BOOK WE’RE RELEASING AS PART OF “KICKSTARTER GOLD.” WE'RE ALSO OFFERING A DISCOUNTED BUNDLE OF BOOKS AT CLOSE TO ZERO PROFIT FOR US! CLICK FOR MORE INFO!"

Subtext: "IF THAT DOESN'T INTEREST YOU, PLEASE CLICK BACK FOR TODAY'S TWO REGULAR SMBC UPDATES. Thanks, geeks! -Zach"

Panel 2: Character 1: "DEAR LORD… IT'S ME, ZACH WEINERSMITH."

Character 2: "THAT RED-HEAD WHO’S REALLY GOOD AT COMICS?"

Character 1: "NO, THAT’S RYAN NORTH."

Panel 3: Character 2: "AH, YES. I’VE MADE HIM PERFECTLY. BEAUTIFUL, YET HUMBLE. STRONG, YET GENTLE."

Character 1: "I WOULD HAVE, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE RYAN NORTH."

Panel 4: Character 2, looking thoughtful: "YEAH, YEAH. SO, I NOTICED TWO YEARS AGO YOU DIDN’T STRIKE ME WITH LIGHTNING AFTER I ABRIDGED THE BIBLE DOWN TO A FEW SENTENCES PER CHAPTER."

Panel 5: Character 1, looking surprised: "REALLY? THANKS!"

Character 2: "LIKE, I THOUGHT MAYBE HE’D GOTTEN IN AN ACCIDENT SO HE BECAME SHORTER AND HIS CHIN GOT WEAK."

Panel 6: Character 1: "RIGHT. WOW. MY FEELINGS. ANYWAY, LOOK, SINCE YOU ALLOWED THAT BOOK, I THOUGHT I SHOULD WRITE A SEQUEL…"

Panel 7: Character 2: "BUT I WANTED THE NEW BOOK TO BE HELPFUL TO PEOPLE. MORE PRAGMATIC… MORE… EMPIRICAL."

Panel 8: Character 1, looking animated: "NO! NO, NO, NO. YOU DIDN'T RUIN MY GREATEST CREATION, DID YOU? THE SONG OF REALITY… THE MELODY OF THE STARS… THAT WHICH GIVES RISE TO RYAN NORTH—"

Sound effect: "BAM!"

Panel 9: Text: "INTRODUCING…"

Panel 10: Text on book covers: "SCIENCE ABRIDGED Beyond the Point of Usefulness" "THE HOLY BIBLE ABRIDGED Beyond the Point of Usefulness"

Panel 11: Text: "CLICK TO BUY!"

Additional text: "And, you can get both signed plus our new pop-sci book, Soonish, for just $30 plus shipping! Thanks for reading, geeks!"

This transcription closely follows the dialogue and notes in the comic, ensuring a disability-friendly description.