Comic #3974: chaper-drone

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Description

Here's the transcription of the comic:

Panel 1: Character 1: I know you don’t want a chaperone for your date tonight, so I’ve found a compromise.

Panel 2: Character 1: Instead of going myself, I’m sending this innocuous swarm of quadcopters.

Panel 3: Character 1: Although they will record your conversations, your ambient conditions, and a variety of biostatistics, I will not be allowed direct access to that information.

Panel 4: Character 1: I will only get metadata, and the ability to perform keyword searches.

Panel 5: Character 2: That information will be analyzed by a third party service in order to determine whether "she's growing up too fast," and, if so, the likelihood of an unwanted pregnancy.

Panel 6: Character 2: And suppose the likelihood appears high?

Panel 7: Character 1: The swarm will emit this boner-melting hologram of a shaved orangutan.

Panel 8: Character 1: How did society simultaneously get more permissive and more oppressive.

Panel 9: Character 2: But I’m letting you wear whatever you like!

Let me know if you need anything else!