Comic #3664: the-five-paragraph-method

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Here is the transcription of the comic:

Panel 1: Kid: "Kids, today we're going to learn the five paragraph method."

Panel 2: Teacher: "The virtues of the method are three."

Panel 3: Teacher: "First, formulaic papers are easy to grade."

Panel 4: Teacher: "Second, it is so dull that you will take no joy in it, which proves you’re learning."

Panel 5: Teacher: "Third, it will render you unable to communicate clearly, which will prepare you for lucrative professions, such as engineering, medicine, and contract law."

Panel 6: Kid: "Suddenly I hate writing."

Panel 7: Another Kid: "Whoa. Sorry, I’m confused by your statement’s lack of a topic sentence."

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