Comic #3575: 2015-03-01

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Description

Here is the transcription of the comic:

Panel 1: Character 1: "WHOA! A MAGIC LAMP!" Character 2: "Huh. It’s made of unadorned wood."

Panel 2: Character 2: "WHO ARE YOU?!" Character 3: "I AM CALVINIST GENIE." Character 2: "YOU MAY MAKE THREE WISHES."

Panel 3: Character 2: "OOH! I WISH FOR—" Character 3: "IF YOU WORK VERY HARD EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE, YOUR GRANDCHILDREN MAY BE GRANTED THOSE WISHES, PROVIDED THAT THEY TOO ENGAGE IN CEASELESS TOIL."

Panel 4: Character 2: "IF YOU LIVE TO SEE YOUR GRANDCHILDREN IT'S BECAUSE YOU DID NOT WORK HARD ENOUGH." Character 2: "WILL I GO TO HEAVEN THEN?" Character 3: "THAT'S UP TO GOD. YOUR ACTIONS ARE IRRELEVANT."

Panel 5: Character 3: "THAT SAID, TALKING TO A GENIE IS PROBABLY A BAD SIGN." Character 2: "GODDAMMIT."

Panel 6: Character 3: "THAT'S STRIKE TWO, BUDDY."

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