Comic #3545: 2015-01-30

Description

Here’s the transcription of the comic:

Panel 1: Person looks thoughtful and says: "Dear Jesus… I don’t really like church, and a bunch of your rules are just no fun. So, I’m gonna skip all that stuff until right before I die. Then I’m gonna repent and go to heaven."

Panel 2: Thought bubble: "What if you get hit by a bus before you can repent and change your ways?"

Person responds: "I’ll make you a deal: the odds of getting hit by a bus are about one in ten million. For believing in you about one ten millionth of the time, I’d like to be absolved of sin in the case of bus-related death."

Panel 3: Thought bubble: "What about all the other ways to die? At your age, the mortality rate is about 0.2%."

Person replies: "Okay, 0.2% of the time, I’ll believe in you. That’s about 16 hours a year. So, I’ll give you Easter mass, Christmas mass, and whenever I want something really bad. Which is what I was doing anyway."

Panel 4: Person continues: "As my age-based mortality rate increases, I’ll begin attending church at a commensurate rate until, late in life, I’ll spend all day at church just to be safe."

Panel 5: Thought bubble: "Holy crap. This is why people get more religious over time."

Person concludes: "Wow. Great omniscience up there, guy."

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