Comic #3541: 2015-01-26

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Description

Here’s the transcription of the text from the comic titled "Know Your Bird-Related Auguries":

• Raven: DEATH
• Sparrow: GOOD LUCK
• Eurasian Kestrel: NOBODY WILL EVER LOVE YOU
• Barnacle Goose: RENT IS DUE
• Crested Ibis: YOUR ZIPPER IS UNDONE
• Dwarf Cassowary: YOU NEED TO STOP DRINKING
• Fulvous Whistling Duck: YOUR SPOUSE LOATHES YOU. YEARS OF HATRED HAVE CALCIFIED INTO CONSTANT QUITE MALICE, WHICH TAKES ITS MOST PALPABLE FORM IN YOUR FURTIVE HALF-SMILES AND PASSIONLESS SEX.
• Pterodactyl: THE TIME MACHINE WORKED.
• Passenger Pigeon: THE TIME MACHINE WORKED A LITTLE.

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