Comic #3521: 2015-01-06

Description

Here's the transcription of the comic text:

Panel 1: "During presidential elections, we compel candidates to pretend to be 'regular folks,' despite being more powerful than most people who have ever lived." "And I told my chef, 'No! Put American cheese on that pheasant!'"

Panel 2: "This is demeaning to dignified candidates and wasteful of society's time." "What if I just leveled with people about how I'm rich, but I still care?" "Is that true?" "It was, five or six elections ago."

Panel 3: "My question is this: if we have the power to make candidates pretend to what they aren’t, why not go for something more amusing?"

Panel 4: "For example, they could roleplay characters from beloved novels." "I share the small town values of the Shire, which is why I support increased funding for pastry and defense against dragons."

Panel 5: "Or mythical creatures." "As a merman, I understand the importance of environmental regulation!"

Panel 6: "Or really really cute things." "As a snuggly-pile of kitties, I think we should bring laser pointer manufacturing back here to Akron, Ohio!"

Panel 7: "Or maybe just household objects." "I'm a little teapot, short and stout! I'll audit the Fed and see what they’re about."

Bottom Section: "CALL YOUR SENATOR DEMAND PRE-PRESIDENTIAL ROLEPLAY NOW!"

"SEE IF YOU CAN GET THEM TO RESPOND IN KLINGON."

This transcription captures all the text and dialogue from the comic.