Comic #3511: 2014-12-27

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Description

Here is the transcription of the comic:

Panel 1: "THANK YOU FOR COMING TO THE PRESS CONFERENCE ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE. IT'S GREAT TO SEE ALL THE MAJOR NETWORKS HERE."

Panel 2: "IN OUR BULLETIN, WE MENTIONED THAT I WILL BE REVEALING THAT I CHEATED ON MY WIFE WITH A PROSTITUTE, THAT I AM SECRETLY A CRACK DEALER, AND THAT I ONCE SHOT A MAN IN RENO JUST TO WATCH HIM DIE."

Panel 3: "NONE OF THAT STUFF IS TRUE."

Panel 4: "I WILL NOW SPEND THE NEXT THREE HOURS GIVING A DETAILED PRESENTATION ON PREVENTABLE DISEASES IN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES. THE DOORS HAVE BEEN LOCKED."

Panel 5: "I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR HEADLINES TOMORROW."

Bottom Text: "SENATOR LIES ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH PROSTITUTE"