Comic #3464: 2014-11-11

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Description

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Panel 1:

• A man with medium-length hair and glasses stands beside a woman. He appears to be asking a question.
• Text: “How will you be paying for the cupcakes?”
• Man: “Money! Stolen from a homeless family.”
• Woman: “Sure, fine, but cash or credit?”

Panel 2:

• A person with curly hair gestures as they explain something.
• Text: “So, we instituted a new policy.”
• Person: “Henceforth, there will be three kinds of money: money got evenly, money got unequally, and money got in a morally neutral manner! Money can only be used to buy evil things, good money to buy good things, and neutral money to buy everything else.”

Panel 3:

• A table showing different financial classes: Poor, Middle Class, Rich, with headers like "Evil", "Neutral", and "Class Dynamics".
• Text: “The number of financial classes squared.”

Panel 4:

• Two characters in conversation—one appears to be a teacher.
• Teacher: “I have billions from improperly-rated mortgage-backed securities. But all I can buy is snake venom and baby seals.”
• Other character: “I teach handicapped kindergarteners to read. All I can buy is inspirational posters and porcelain angels.”

Panel 5:

• Two characters with one asking about cookies.
• Character A: “I’d like these cookies. How was that money acquired?”
• Character B: “Fair entry. And not for an insurance claims adjustment.”

Panel 6:

• A woman gestures dramatically.
• Text: “Both good and evil fell out of fashion.”
• Woman: “Hey! You wanna crusade on against injustice?”

Panel 7:

• A scientist figure expresses an observation.
• Scientist: “The national crime rate has fallen to zero, as has the door-to-door preaching rate.”

Panel 8:

• A character holding flowers and a thinking expression.
• Text: “The system worked so well, we decided to dissect it.”
• Character: “If I give a random person flowers, is that purely good? Growing it increases CO2 emissions. And what about people who don’t get any flowers? Are they harmed?”

Panel 9:

• Another character dons a serious expression while holding a clipboard.
• Text: “A horrific discovery was made.”
• Character: “We have discovered trace elements of ethics contaminating all human behavior.”

Panel 10:

• A character in a suit stands with another character looking apologetic.
• Text: “The old way was restored.”
• Character: “Henceforth, money will once again be exchangeable for anything. As the head of state, I would like to apologize to all the evil people who may have been harmed.”

Panel 11:

• A character looking frustrated, questioning another character who holds a pie.
• Text: “Oh, well. At least we tried.”
• Character: “Wait… so I could pay a senator to give my company a loan, sell that company right before it went bankrupt, then use that money to buy this apple pie?”
• Other character: “It’s a sick system, isn’t it?”

This comic discusses themes of money, morality, social justice, and the absurdity of financial systems, portrayed through humorous dialogue and situations.