Comic #3356: 2014-07-26

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Description

Here’s the transcription of the text from the comic:

Panel 1: The humans are fascinating. They’re like other sapient races, but uniquely, they lack an objective sense organ.
Question: What do you mean? How is that possible?

Panel 2: They just don’t. They have a barrage of "sense" organs which give different general ideas about what’s around them.

Panel 3: Like, if you could give one a ball of middle element, it would say, “This feels cold,” meaning it reflects light. Then, it would say “this is iron.”

Panel 4: But all of those are conditional, relative statements. They’re almost vacuous. Why not just perceive middle element and use your concept transmitter to tell others about it?
Question: They don’t have a concept transmitter?

Panel 5: What?! How do they mate?

Panel 6: Badly. One triggers another’s sense organ with an assurance of affection. The other considers the assurance statistically and decides whether to proceed.

Panel 7: What a nightmare. It’d be like you were born in a tiny cavity inside a giant sphere, and the only way to communicate was by poking a stick through a narrow hole in the wall!
Response: Yep.

Panel 8: Now… imagine those beings somehow create spaceships, warp drives, and fusion bombs.
Question: What?!

Panel 9: We’re scared, so you get missiles!

Panel 10: Text: THE UNIVERSE IS DOOMED

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