Comic #3081: 2013-10-24

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Description

Here is the transcription of the text from the comic:

Panel 1:
Child: "Mom! Bobby hit me! Can I hit him back?"

Panel 2:
Mom: "Okay, new house rule: Any hit must hit back with power that is some ratio from Q to 1 of the prior hit. The two of you must select the ratio."

Panel 3:
Text: "3 weeks later…"
Child: "OH MY GOD! What happened?!"

Panel 4:
Child 1: "If the ratio is 0 to 1, only the initial hitter hits, so it’s not fair."
Child 2: "If the ratio is between 0 and 3, the punches weaken over time, but the first striker gets hit less."

Panel 5:
Child 1: "The only fair ratio is 1 to 1."
Child 2: "So the punches don’t weaken you get infinite punches."

Panel 6:
Child 1: "The only way to create fairness and end violence is to pick a ratio so close to 1 to 1 that two consecutive punches feel the same. We settled on 9999 to 100,000."

Panel 7:
Child 2: "We expect punch strength to become negligible around the 200,000th punch."

Panel 8:
Mom: "OH. MY. GOD."

Panel 9:
Mom (angrily): "Soon…"
Text on Mom’s desk: "MY KIDS CAN DO REAL ANALYSIS."