Comic #3056: 2013-09-29

Description

Here’s a detailed transcription of the text from the comic:

Panel 1: Text (at the top): "According to the fundamental law of media graph construction, any two things that look correlated on a graph are causally related in real life."

Illustration: A teacher in a suit with glasses.

Panel 2: Text: "It follows that any two things can be made to have a causal relation by having two functions on one graph with two y-axes and scaling the y-axes until they kinda look like each other."

Illustration: The teacher looking serious.

Panel 3: Text: "By this means, any two trends can be forced into causal relation for the purposes of an article, book, or speech."

Illustration: The teacher, now gesturing with his hands.

Panel 4: Text (on chalkboard, a formula): "A = (c × k)B"

Panel 5: Text: "Why do you think people trust the news less than ever?"

Illustration: A classroom setting with students listening.

Panel 6: Text: "According to this graph, penguins are at fault."

Illustration: A graph on the board showing a decline in trust over time with a line indicating a correlation with "penguins."

The graph has two lines, one labeled "Trust" and the other "Penguins," showing a decline over time.

Feel free to ask if you need anything else!