Comic #2990: 2013-07-25

Description

Here’s the transcription of the comic's text:

Panel 1: "Grave news, everyone. According to a recently leaked document, our government hides under bridges, kidnaps passing children, and grinds their bones to make its bread."

Panel 2: "The President has issued a statement saying he was not aware of the alleged Bonnemeal issue."

Panel 3: "As proof that this is possible, he issued this photo of himself playing with action figures while the Secretary of Defense desperately tries to get his attention."

Panel 4: "Members of his party have noted that the other party also ground the bones of children to make its bread, and their members weren't complaining back then, even though it was a cross violation of the Constitution."

Panel 5: "Hold on. This just in: in a world exclusive, we've acquired documents showing that the leader said dumb things on Facebook once."

Panel 6: "We have also obtained video of him putting his finger in his ear, examining the result, then wiping it on his pants."

Panel 7: "And, according to testimony from his ex-girlfriend from ten years ago, enjoys the vile act known as coitus."

Panel 8: "We now go live to a simulation of him and Hitler sharing a high five."

Panel 9: "Wait, did you say something about the government eating children?" "I'm not sure… it's been so long."

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