Comic #2970: 2013-07-05

View Original Comic

Description

Here's the transcription of the comic text:

Panel 1: Police Officer: "RELEASE THE HOSTAGES AND WE’LL GIVE YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT!"

Panel 2: Hostage Taker: "I WANT TO BE AS CAREFREE AS I WAS AT AGE 10, AS EXCITED AS I WAS AT AGE 20, AS CONFIDENT AS I WAS AT AGE 30, AND AS EMPOWERED AS I WAS AT AGE 40!"

Panel 3: Hostages: "WE'VE GOT THAT DOWN HERE! JUST RELEASE THE HOSTAGES!"

Panel 4: Label: "SOON…" Hostage Taker: "SO WHERE IS IT?! WHERE?!"

Panel 5: Random Person: "OH, THAT’S EASY. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ACCEPT THAT THE PRESENT, THOUGH A RESULT OF THE PAST, STILL EXISTS UNTO SELF."

Panel 6: Police Officer: "WHAT?! BUT MY SELF-ASSESSMENT IS ENTIRELY THE RESULT OF AN UNRELENTING ANALYSIS OF MISTAKES AND MISSED OPPORTUNITIES!"

Panel 7: Random Person: "WELL, YOU PROBABLY SHOULD'VE BARGAINED FOR A FERRARI OR SOMETHING."

Panel 8: Hostage Taker: "THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF THING I’M TALKING ABOUT."

Let me know if you need anything else!