Comic #2874: 2013-03-31

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Description

Here’s a detailed description and transcription of the comic:

Panel 1:

• Background: A bright indoor setting with a person holding a camera and a large orange cat.
• Text: “The big money on the internet was in cats.”

Panel 2:

• Background: Same indoor setting, closer view of the person now taking a photo of a small kitten.
• Text: “Until kittens were discovered.”

Panel 3:

• Background: The person sits among several small, cartoonish kittens.
• Text: “From there, it was a short step to dwarf cats, then dwarf newborn kittens.”

Panel 4:

• Background: A laboratory setting with two scientists—one woman and one man—discussing.
• Woman saying: “We have created a kitten the width of a single human hair.”

Panel 5:

• Background: The man and woman are at a table, papers spread in front of them.
• Text: “The cat photo industry was willing to spend fortunes for ever smaller kitties.”

Panel 6:

• Background: The woman points at a graphic showing cat anatomy.
• Text: “The essential features of a cat are whiskers, meows, and purring. We can create an atomic machine that has tendrils, emits sound waves, and vibrates.”

Panel 7:

• Background: More serious expression on the man’s face.
• Text: “But there was a problem. We’re getting weird quantum effects. If too many Planck-kittens are near each other, the ‘pure frequency’ shreds local spacetime.”

Panel 8:

• Background: The man looks concerned, the scene is tense.
• Text: “The problem had a solution.”

Panel 9:

• Background: The man and woman talking seriously.
• Man asking: “Can we stop making them?”
• Woman replies: “Sure. Just convince the internet to not look at cats.”

Panel 10:

• Background: A cosmic scene, distant celestial bodies, hinting at a theory of existential reflection.
• Text: “Some day, in the distant future, aliens will find the tatters of our one-time home.”

Panel 11:

• Background: A spaceship observing Earth from afar.
• Text: “And they will not be shocked.”

Panel 12:

• Background: Two aliens discussing.
• First alien: “Another civilization that co-evolved with cats.”
• Second alien: “There is no God.”

This transcription includes all the text from the comic while providing context for each panel.