Comic #2863: 2013-03-20

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Description

Here’s the detailed transcription of the comic text:

Panel 1:

• Speaker: "IT HAS LONG BEEN SAID THAT APPLES CANNOT BE COMPARED TO ORANGES."

Panel 2:

• Speaker: "WE DISCOVERED A METHOD TO CREATE A FRUIT THAT IS GENETICALLY EQUAL PARTS APPLE AND ORANGE. THE ORAPPLE."

Panel 3:

• Speaker: "WITH SELECTIVE GENE SPLICING, WE CAN CREATE 'ORAPPLES' ANYWHERE ON THE APPLE TO ORANGE SPECTRUM."

Panel 4:

• Speaker: "WE HAVE THUS NOT ONLY CREATED A TASTY FRUIT, WE HAVE CHANGED THE NATURE OF ARGUMENTATION FOR ALL TIME BY PERMITTING THE ANALOGIZING OF DISTINCT TOPICS."

Panel 5:

• Speaker: "SO, WHEN MY WIFE SAID COMPARING MY HAPPINESS LEVEL BETWEEN OUR 20-YEAR MARRIAGE AND A SUMMER FLING I HAD IN COLLEGE WAS 'APPLES TO ORANGES,' ACCORDING TO CURRENT SCIENCE, SHE WAS AGREEING WITH ME."

Panel 6:

• Woman in crowd: "FUCK YOU, PAUL!"
• Speaker: "EAT SHIT, SALLY!"

This transcription captures all the dialogue and context from the comic for clarity and accessibility.