Comic #2823: 2013-02-08

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Panel 1 A common problem for scientists was that rats aren't humans.

Scientist 1: We cured cancer in rats!
Scientist 2: Again?

Panel 2 Many horrible human ailments were completely eradicable in rats.

Scientist 1: We can make rats immortal!
Scientist 2: Sure. Which way?

Panel 3 But rats were still the best animal model. So, we pressed on.

Scientist 1: We can make hyper-intelligent rat breeds.
Scientist 2: Yeah, but I bet there’s a trade-off in muscle strength.
Scientist 1: Nope.

Panel 4 Over time, it became harder and harder to get research money, and funding agencies wanted more and more specific programs.

Scientist 1: What’s your experiment?
Scientist 2: We’re trying to create more humanoid rats for better testing.

Panel 5 By the time we realized what was happening, it was too late.

Scientist 1: Rats now control the NIH!
Scientist 2: How?

Panel 6 Scientist 1: Telepathy.
Scientist 2: This account was written from my cage. I don’t know how many of us are left, but I do have hope.

Panel 7 The wheel may turn again.

Scientist 1: Dammit. We can’t test the humans for telepathic degeneration because they aren’t telepathic.
Scientist 2: Maybe we could make a new breed.

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