Comic #2805: 2013-01-21

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Description

Here’s a detailed transcription of the comic:

Panel 1: Text: "BAD NEWS."

Panel 2: Character 1 (a man with short hair, wearing a red shirt) says: "I’ve chosen to take your lack of interest in me as a clever ruse to lure me into the romantic relationship I’ve desired for several months now." Character 2 (a woman with long brown hair, wearing a purple shirt) responds: "OH GOD, NO."

Panel 3: Character 1 continues: "But it’s not the case! I find you completely unappealing. There isn’t anything appealing here." Character 2 reacts: "HEY! WHOA! You think this is easy for ME?"

Panel 4: Character 1: "I’m going to be out of the dating market for at least two, possibly up to five, YEARS."

Panel 5: Character 1 continues: "And let’s not forget the time and money involved in leaving multiple messages with you every single day! And sending holiday cards? Do romantic gifts buy themselves?"

Panel 6: Character 2: "No, but—" Character 1 interrupts: "And what if you leave town?! I’ll have to coincidentally find a nearby job, probably at a pay cut. Do you think that’ll be easy for me?!"

Panel 7: Character 1: "I think—" Character 2 interrupts: "Listen, we can debate this all day, or we can treat it like the minor natural disaster it is, ride it out as best we can, then pick up the pieces like mature adults."

Panel 8: Character 2 lets out a sigh and says: "All right. Where do we start?"

Panel 9: Character 2 declares: "I got you this vial of my blood for Valentine’s Day." Character 1 responds: "I already have a boyfriend." Character 2 replies: "I made him one too."

This transcription captures the dialogue and interactions between the characters throughout the comic.