Comic #2722: 2012-10-30
Description
Here's a detailed transcription of the text in the comic:
Title: TRUE WEINERSMITH TALES;
Panel 1: I HAD THIS IDEA THAT ALL POLITICAL SPEECH COULD BE IMPROVED. “If you changed everything but the nouns to ‘nurbled,’ you could still follow EVERYTHING.”
Panel 2: ONE OF MY TWITTER FOLLOWERS, JEFF LEE, POSTED A QUICK AND DIRTY PROGRAM: THE POLITICAL SPEECH NURBLER.
<?php
// Extremely quick-and-dirty political speech nurbler (changes everything except nouns):
// suggested by @jefflee (https://twitter.com/JackieInFirst/status/261803814218038273)
// Requires PHP, and part-of-speech.txt from the "Part of Speech Database", available at
// http://nurdle.sourceforge.net
// Usage: php nurbler.php input-file
...
(*The code continues with specific programming logic.)
Panel 3: UNLIKE MOST OF MY IDEAS, THIS ONE WORKED BETTER THAN EXPECTED. HERE’S A NURBLED PASSAGE FROM THE 2012 STATE OF THE UNION:
nurbled nurbled nurbled TESTAMENT nurbled nurbled COURAGE, SELFLESSNESS, nurbled TIME nurbled WORK nurbled’s nurbled EXAMPLE.
nurbled nurbled nurbled nurbled nurbled COUNTRY nurbled nurbled WORLD nurbled PEOPLE.
nurbled nurbled nurbled nurbled GENERATION nurbled TECH nurbled nurbled.
nurbled FUTURE nurbled nurbled nurbled; nurbled nurbled ENERGY, nurbled nurbled SECURITY nurbled PROSPERITY nurbled nurbled urbled WORLD.
nurbled ECONOMY nurbled nurbled; nurbled WORK nurbled nurbled, nurbled RESPONSIBILITY nurbled nurbled nurbled.
nurbled nurbled nurbled nurbled; nurbled nurbled nurbled nurbled nurbled.
nurbled nurbled END nurbled WORLD nurbled, nurbled GENERATION nurbled nurbled HOME nurbled COMBAT, nurbled nurbled nurbled ECONOMY nurbled nurbled NATION nurbled nurbled WORLD.
nurbled nurbled GRANDFAITHER, nurbled VETERAN nurbled PATTON'S ARMY, nurbled CHANCE nurbled GO nurbled COLLEGE nurbled G.I. BILL.
nurbled GRANDMOTHER, nurbled nurbled nurbled nurbled BOMBER ASSEMBLY LINE, nurbled PART nurbled nurbled nurbled nurbled urbled EARTH.
…
Panel 4: PERHAPS NURBLING WOULD BE A GOOD TEST OF THE INFORMATION DENSITY OF A SPEECH.
“Mr. President, I NURBLED your speech and it still contained 43 non-nurbled words.”
Panel 5: AFTER ALL, IF YOU CAN GET THE POINT ENTIRELY FROM TWO NOUNS PER SENTENCE, YOU'RE WASTING ABOUT 90% OF YOUR TIME.
“LET’S NURBLE TEN OF THOSE. I WANT IT TO PLAY IN PEORIA.”
This transcription captures the text and structure of the comic while ensuring clarity and accessibility.