Comic #2699: 2012-10-06

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Description

Here is a detailed transcription of the text in the comic:

1. Panel 1:
   • "THE FIRST THING YOU MUST DO IS SEIZE THE TREASURY. WITH THAT, YOU CAN CONTROL THE MILITARY."
2. Panel 2:
   • "ONCE YOU HAVE THE ARMIES, DETERMINE WHICH PEOPLE HAVE THE GREATEST SAY OVER YOUR MAINTENANCE OF AUTHORITY."
3. Panel 3:
   • "SELECT SIXTY PERCENT OF THEM, AND GIVE THEM GIFTS EXTRAVAGANT ENOUGH TO MAKE THEM DEPENDANT."
4. Panel 4:
   • "THE REMAINING FORTY PERCENT? GIVE THEM IMPORTANT MISSIONS IN FOREIGN LANDS THEN WITHDRAW SUPPORT BEFORE THEY ARE COMPLETE. THE INEVITABLE MISSION FAILURE WILL RESULT IN PUBLIC DISGRACE AND POSSIBLY DEATH."
5. Panel 5:
   • "NOW, SLOWLY REDUCE THE POPULATION OF THE SIXTY PERCENT. USE THE EXTRA MONEY TO INCREASE THEIR DEPENDENCE WHILE GROWING THE MILITARY. NEXT—"
6. Panel 6:
   • "ARE YOU TURNING BOBBY INTO AN AUTOCRAT, THERE?!"
7. Panel 7:
   • "NO, HONEY!"
8. Panel 8:
   • "DON'T WORRY, SHE'S PART OF THE FORTY PERCENT."

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