Comic #2686: 2012-09-23

View Original Comic

Description

Sure! Here’s a detailed description of the comic:

Panel 1: A green alien holds a stack of photos and says, "I got photos of this celebrity naked. How much will you pay me for them?" A man in a suit, wearing glasses, responds, "Lemme see."

Panel 2: The alien shows a photo to the man, who comments, "No, too distant. I can’t resolve her features at all."

Panel 3: The alien insists, "Okay, this one’s really zoomed in. You can see the microbial life in one of her ducts."

Panel 4: The man replies, "No, too close. I want to perceive her as a mate, not a biological specimen."

Panel 5: The alien states, "Still too far. I can tell she has form, but I can’t make out nipples."

Panel 6: The man says, "Okay, this one is just far enough to see her hair follicles."

Panel 7: The alien expresses frustration, "Too close. This could be leg or arm follicles. I need it zoomed out far enough that I can ascertain whether the hairs are from a body area that’s culturally or biologically sexualized. I mean, otherwise, what’s the point?"

Panel 8: The alien continues, "Here, let me explain human sexuality with a diagram."

Panel 9 (Diagram): A chart is shown with a horizontal axis labeled "DISTANCE" with markers indicating "creepy" on the left, "boring" on the right, and a peak in the middle labeled "so hot" at various distances (from 1 mm to 10 km).

Panel 10: The alien remarks, "You guys are pretty limited, huh?" while the man looks at a piece of paper and responds, "Oh, that reminds me. No ugly chicks."

This comic explores absurdity and humor around perceptions of attraction and societal norms surrounding sexuality.