Comic #2615: 2012-07-14

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Description

Here’s the transcription of the text from the comic:

Panel 1: Caption: HUMAN BEINGS DID NOT HAVE FREE WILL.

Panel 2: Caption: WE WERE TOO MACROSCOPIC TO ACCESS QUANTUM RANDOMNESS, SO WE DIDN'T MEET SUFFICIENT CONDITIONS FOR DETERMINISTIC CHOICES. Graph:

• X-Axis: SIZE
• Y-Axis: RANDOMNESS
• A downward sloping line representing the relationship between size and randomness.

Panel 3: Caption: IT RANDOMLY EMITS PARTICLES THAT SCRAMBLE SOME NEURON ACTIVITY, MAKING YOUR CHOICES CEASE TO BE PRE-DETERMINED.

Panel 4: User 1: I HAVE FREE WILL.
User 2: THAT'S NICE. I STILL NEED YOU TO SCRUB ALL THE LABORATORIES IN THE PRISON COMPLEX.

Panel 5: User 3: WHOA, WAIT. I DIDN'T ROB A BANK. I DIDN'T HAVE A QUANTUM ACCESS CHIP, SO I HAD NO CHOICE!
User 4: OKAY, BUT WHY THE LACK OF PANTS?

Panel 6: User 5: IT ALL STARTS WITH THE BOUNDARY CONDITIONS OF THE UNIVERSE.

Panel 7: User 6: THE PHILOSOPHICAL DISTINCTION LED TO A POLITICAL ONE.
User 7: THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN BE BLAMED FOR BAD THINGS ARE Q.A.C. USERS; THEREFORE ALL BAD THINGS MUST BE THEIR FAULT.

Panel 8: Caption: THE REVOLUTION WAS SWIFT AND BRUTAL. THEY HAVE DROWNED THE WORLD IN SORROW!
User 8: OKAY, BUT WHY THE LACK OF PANTS?
User 9: THE RANDOM MOTION OF ATOMS IN MY BODY.

Panel 9: Caption: HUMAN BEINGS NO LONGER HAVE FREE WILL.
User 10: I CAN'T BELIEVE WE KILLED ALL OF THE QUANTUM SCIENTISTS.
User 11: WHO'S THIS "WE"?

This transcription provides detailed and accurate representation of the dialogues and captions in the comic.