Comic #2508: 2012-03-29

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Description

Here’s a transcription of the comic text:

Panel 1: Character 1: We need to talk. Character 2: About how we're so in love it defies language?

Panel 2: Character 1: So, we created a service that simplified things. Screen text: Press up to increase relationship satisfaction by one point. Press down to decrease.

Panel 3: Character 1: Of course, there was a bit more to it. Screen text: This is a simple graph of your relationship satisfaction. We simply ask our algorithm…

Panel 4: Character 1: …if ∑Isi x ∇². 1 [f(x)] ≤ 5

Panel 5: Character 1: The algorithm wasn't complex because it needed to be. It was complex so you could shift blame. Character 3: I'm sorry. I'd loooove to be with you forever, but the graph says it’s not working out.

Panel 6: Character 4: Then stop clicking the button. Character 5: It's not that easy!

Panel 7: Character 1: It worked so well, we realized it could be extended in all sorts of directions. Character 6: Darn! Looks like you're fired.

Panel 8: Character 7: Shucks! Looks like we're disowned. Character 8: Aw, man! Looks like we have to stop having fun.

Panel 9: Character 1: The net effect was a vast improvement in human relations. Character 9: I love how we can just be honest with each other now that we don't have to look each other in the eye to do it!

Panel 10: Character 10: Well… until the hackers came.

Panel 11: Character 11: We're still together? But I'm a shallow yet attractive actor in a film based on your favorite science fiction book. I could have any woman! Character 12: Weird, right?

This transcription captures all the dialogue and text present in the comic.