Comic #2273: 2011-08-04

Description

Here’s the detailed transcription of the comic text:

Panel 1: "I found out my cat was dying."

Panel 2: "He’d spent his whole life loafing around in a hedonistic haze."

Panel 3: "So, I decided to give him the highlights of an ideal feline life in his final days."

Panel 4: "I tossed him in a ballpit of small flightless birds." "Godspeed, you fluffy little murderer."

Panel 5: "I gave him every domesticated cat’s sexual fantasy." "50 bucks and my cat gets to stud with a tigress." "Done." "How much for two tigresses?"

Panel 6: "I had him chase a laser, then led him to a ball of red fluff I put on the floor." "You’re the first cat to ever actually catch the laser!"

Panel 7: "When he died, it occurred to me that he had no sense of his own mortality. This led to a profound realization." "Why, he… he was in heaven all along."

Panel 8: "Also this." "I guess he won’t mind if I bury him in this dumpster."

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