Comic #2140: 2011-03-24
Description
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Panel 1: A drawing showing a roller skate with a prohibition symbol over it. The text reads: "So you want to end war? Here's how: Start a company that manufactures roller skates."
Panel 2: An illustration of someone (a person) who is presenting a pitch, with text that says: "Offer to outfit the military with your product, then get rebuffed by Congress for such a ludicrous idea."
Panel 3: Another character remarks: "For 'too long, our boys overseas have marched in unmeasurable fatigue!'" The response is: "Why would they ever want that? Damn your political doublespeak!"
Panel 4: An editorial writer states: "Maybe it seems insane and stupid, but do we not face an insane and stupid enemy? An enemy we cannot let 'skate by.'"
Panel 5: A statement reads: "As media pressure mounts, point out the number of jobs created in each state." The character says, "Our skates are made via a needlessly convoluted sequence of 435 parts each built in a different congressional district."
Panel 6: Another text box notes, "Congress will approve roller skates for every soldier in uniform." A character proclaims, "As I have always said, we cannot let the enemy 'skate.'"
Panel 7: A discussion implies trouble ahead, mentioning regions like Africa, South America, or the Middle East. One person states, "We can't pronounce his name, but we can pronounce him a terrorist!"
Panel 8: A character responds: "What do you mean skates don't work on sand?" Another replies, "Skate harder!"
Panel 9: A depiction of Congress refusing to acknowledge failure states, "Americans do not back down! This is an obligation from which we shall not skate."
Panel 10: A character writes, "Give me a status update on the Armed Forces."
Panel 11: The line reads: "There's no money left, and nobody willing to us. On the plus side, Navy invaders will literally be tripped up by the useless roller skates piling up around the nation."
Panel 12: The final sentiment declares, "And the necessary will be portrayed as an informed choice." One character asserts, "America has always been a nation of peace."
Panel 13: The dialogue concludes with, "And that's the only way to change the system." An individual retorts, "What if I just ran for Congress myself?" The last answer says, "Don't be so cynical!"
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